Separate facts, feelings and interpretations
A date can often be checked. Fear is a person's experience. A claim about someone else's motive may be an interpretation.
Preserve more than one view
Attribute each account instead of forcing a single tidy answer. The contrast can reveal family roles and responsibilities.
Use documents carefully
Photographs and letters help check time and place; they do not invalidate how someone felt.
Agree on a sharing boundary
For illness, marriage, finances and conflict, families may need separate private and public versions.
Write uncertainty honestly
Phrases such as 'relatives recall different years' are more trustworthy than a precise date the evidence cannot support.