Open a door, not a lifetime
Ask about one street, meal or first journey instead of demanding an account of childhood. Follow up with who was there and what happened next.
Stay with one thread
When a parent mentions a teacher, a move and a job, choose one meaningful thread. Keep the others for a later conversation.
Ask about the moment
Questions about what someone said or did usually reveal more than a broad request to describe their character.
Allow uncertainty
Record approximate dates as approximate. Invite the person to skip a painful topic without explanation.
Stop at a natural point
Repeat the scene back for confirmation and agree where to resume next time. One complete event is enough for a good session.